I recently went on a date (yes, it was awful and no, I won’t be doing it again for a while) with a guy who earns his crust (lol) running a start-up that helps big employers hire more “diverse” employees (it’s like online dating but with banks and black people). I, naïf that I am, thought that he would be an interesting sort of guy to meet.
You can probably tell I was quickly disabused of this thought.
Apart from the usual man/woman bullshit that happened on this date (yes, I have already heard all your “fun facts” I’m a grown, educated woman. Not a small child), this guy, who, without realising it, I’d convinced myself was going to be a plugged-in and socially interesting man, SUCKED. And I mean, really sucked.
He'll be more unfamiliar once I finish convincing my conscious brain that he died...
Before I get into this, I want to include the requisite disclaimer, that I think what this guy does for a living is good and necessary and I’m not taking issue with his business, I’m taking an issue with HIM and, in a greater sense, THE RACIST BULLSHIT he represents.
So this guy clearly thought it had an in with me, as he was keen to display his “in-depth knowledge” of the “not a white man demographic” (which, you know, argh). What was worse, though, was his visible annoyance (/anger) when I was not sufficiently impressed by his general knowledge (no, I am not stunned by the revelation that slave owners got reparation when their slaves were freed, while the slaves got next to nothing, thanks for asking over Tapas).
Not even pretending at this point
But enough about that guy (as awful as he was) but this really did illustrate a wider thing that annoys me in life. When it comes to observing diversity – or, more accurately, the lack of it – white people hate hearing it from, well, anyone. It's another one of those weird double standards which are oh so prevalent in this world. When a white person (well, if they're lucky) points out (or, God forbid) attempts to counter discrimination, they are lauded, where if a minority (for lack of a better word) does it, well, that's just self-interested bollocks isn't it?
True dat, Huey.
And don't get me wrong, I AM self-interested. But the point remains. The discomfort that I (or anyone else with an analogous skin-tone) causes when mentioning the institutionalised racism and discrimination that exists EVERYWHERE, the knee-jerk reaction of anyone listening is "I've never seen it, it doesn't exist". Which, incidentally, is word-for-word what was once said to me at a birthday dinner when I pointed out that industry is still extremely sexist.
You said it, Chloe.
And that's the thing, people born with advantage (and let's make one thing VERY clear, I'm not dividing the concept of "advantage" by race lines; it's definitely a nexus, but in my world, straight white men are the top of the pyramid) hate to be reminded of it. It makes them have to consider the very real possibility that, were all things ACTUALLY equal, they may not have made it to where they are today and will be tomorrow. That inner-city kid with no education to speak of, given different opportunities, could be living HIS life. And that's frightening. I'm not saying it isn't. But it's a reality that we, on some level, all have to consider. Take it from someone who's fielded more than her fair share of the "are you worried you only got into University because of positive discrimination?" questions. It's something to think about.
And in case you're interested in what my response was and is to that question, it's: "take a look around this room, aren't YOU worried you got in because of discrimination? Because, guess what? You did."