The more weight I gain, the more obsessed I am by my face.
There. I said it.
I am currently on a "cupcake a day diet" (let's pretend I have a legitimate justification for that instead of greed and boredom, k?) so my only hope in life is (or will soon be depending on your personal pov) for people to condescendingly tell me that I shouldn't worry because I "have a pretty face". Like, obviously fuck off, but I've INTERNALISED THE SOCIETAL NORM. Shoot me. Whatever. Self-acceptance and body positivity is for OTHER PEOPLE, amirite?
ANYWAY, the point I'm failing to grope towards is that I spend more than an above average amount of time trying to get clear and soft (I'm a true multi-media experience) skin. I feel like I'm relatively successful at it so... I thought I'd recap the MANY products I use to mix it up and keep that skin 100. I'm delirious.
Twice a day, Everyday.
Wash your face. It's not hard.
I'm a big Clinique girl. Those people owe me CASH MONEY for the number of people I've turned onto their 3-step programme (and various other products, but I digress... already). Personally, I've never met a 3-step ANYTHING I couldn't mildly fuck with so I mix it up. Despite no longer living the teenage dream (Katy Perry, you creepy) I like to use the anti-blemish solutions, with the "lotion" subbed in for the (not very moisturising) moisturiser.
Also, this is a touchy subject for me but... YES YOU DO HAVE TO WASH, CLEANSE AND MOISTURISE YOUR SKIN TWICE A DAY. Get your mother on the phone right now, because that bitch failed you if you are asking that question.
Once or Twice a Week
If I were a sensible person, I'd have A LOT more money. Luckily (for you) I am ZERO percent sensible when it comes to shopping (for anything) but especially for skincare products. As my mother always made me creepily repeat like a soft-skinned tiny brown cult member "I AM A PLUM NOT A PRUNE". I LIVE that #plumlife and therefore the MAJORITY of my paycheques go on moisturisers. Oh, you think I'm fucking with you... well:
Masks:
Glamglow
A big favourite of mine for a long time now has been GlamGlow (original - I'm not sure about the other variations... I'm ride or die for the black tub... take from that what you will. It's a rare product that does what it says it will (do you hear that? That's the sound of low standards. Nice to meet you.) tight skin, small pores, glowing skin... AND ALL WITHOUT AN UNPLANNED PREGNANCY. You're welcome.
Charlotte Tilbury - Goddess clay mask
I do like to think of myself as a Goddess. An evil one though.
I first received a mini of this mask for Christmas and immediately knew I was in trouble. The thing about special edition Christmas editions is that they run out by February and I'll be buying the full size... Which is exactly what happened. But call me Edith Piaf because non, je ne regrette rien. This clay mask is a great (semi) regular face mask to keep that skin extra smooth between GlamGlow sessions. It's also a lot easier to wash off, just saying.
Clinique - Pore Refining Solutions Charcoal Mask
This is a no frills mask. Maybe it's that time of the month, maybe you have a stress rash (this actually happened to me - Finals, you were a tough bitch), maybe you've got pores like frisbees, whatever it is. Crack on this mask. Extend that 3-step. Make it a 4-step.
Exfoliators:
Clinique - once a week
Ok. Make that a 5-step. Because exfoliation is one of the pillars of life. So that's: dukka, craving, Nirvana, the 8-fold path and exfoliation. GET IT, GIRL. This exfoliator is supposed to be used once a week but... I just use it when my skin tells me it needs it.
Clarisonic face brush (+Eve Lom)
If you REALLY want/need to buff off some excess surface skin (and maybe the dermal layer under that... softness for the win...) then this spinning face brush is for you. It's just like an electric toothbrush but designed to get the gunk out of your pores instead of from between your teeth. Oh? That's gross you say? Well, it's not as disgusting as it staying there, is it? Personally, I like to use an Eve Lom cleanser with it (because I'm a bougy bitch) and that works well – I wouldn't do it too often though. The aim is not to be buffing skull so it shines bright... like a diamond... of death... I'm getting off track...
Moisturisers:
Sisley - Express Flower Gel Hydrating and Toning Mask
Oh Sisley. How I love you, you make me feel so good. And, let's be honest, you're going to be remembered as my gateway product to crème de la mer #penniless. I was first turned on to this product by the incomparable Lisa Eldrige on her makeup/ beauty blog (the post was about skincare on long-haul flights, because she's THAT bitch) and I've loved it ever since. Not only do I use it as my moisturiser of choice on flights (lol) but I also use it after a good GlamGlow sesh to really soften my skin and make me feel like the #goddess Charlotte T would have me believe that I am. Don't use it too often though. It's expensive. No other reason. If you're rolling in cash, you could use it as foot cream for all I care. MOVING ON.
Egyptian Magic
Egyptian Magic is the all-purpose perfecting balm (/moisturiser/miracle cure/amazing thing) that 8 hour cream wishes it was (but I'll get to that...). After a good exfoliation, I PLASTER my face in this stuff. Like, ruin your pillowcases levels of spackle. And overnight it soaks in, leaving my skin BABY smooth. Well, not baby smooth, smoother than those gross babies. Argh. Babies. Nightmare. #futureofthespecies. This is the worst-kept beauty secret in the world and I love it so much. More than most people. Let's be honest about this.
Elizabeth Arden - 8 hour cream
8-Hour Cream
Is good. Not amazing. But good. I use it. Mostly on my lips but it also makes a good deep overnight moisturiser for the skin around your eyes. Remember kids: MOISTURE = YOUTH YOUTH = BEAUTY and BEAUTY = COLD HARD CASH. Told you I've bought into those nasty norms...
I was also going to go into eye creams and lip balms, etc., etc. but to be honest I've run out of steam. So... I'll get to those later. These are just the key products I use week to week to keep my skin the way I like it (brown as hell and as soft as my core) so hopefully this is helpful/ interesting in some way.
Also, should have mentioned at the top – I have combination skin so... take from that what you will...
TOODLES.