Don't get me wrong, I loved Nip/Tuck, but...
Ryan Murphy finally did it. Scream Queens was perfect.
As a self (and not so self) proclaimed "shady bitch", I've always been more on the AHS / Nip/Tuck end of the Ryan Murphy cannon (although of course I did watch Glee almost to the end and Popular was required viewing for me for a while as a younger gal). But all those shows (except you AHS, stay crazy) seem like practice like mere practice now, placeholders for the MASTERPIECE that is Scream Queens.
You too, Chad Radwell
Every character (sorry, not you Coney) is an amazing combination of rich, gorgeous, insane, stupid and such a raging narcissist they're v. chill with murder.
But what we're really watching for is the flat-out hilarious foursome who really are the foundation of this show: Chad Radwell (token brainless hottie with some of the best lines on the show), Denise Hemphill (bad bitch and #spoiler security guard-cum-police chief who lives her life the way we all dream we could and who is also personally responsible for my new catch phrase):
You know what you did...
then there's Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts is perfection and now my first choice to play ANY dictator in history) and THE SCREAM QUEEN HERSELF aka Jamie-Lee Curtis aka Dean Munsch aka the true awful voice of our times.
Take that, Jessica Lang.
My love of this programme is more pure than any of these characters were AS NEW BORN INFANTS but, trust me, that bar is LOW. There's nothing I can really say you that can properly convey how good this show is (apart from you have to keep watching until at least an episode after Ariana Grande gets herself good and dead before things really kick off...). You're just going to have to watch it.
So did your cotton wool balls in sweet and sour sauce, pour yourself a pink cocktail and GET TO WATCHING. And remember, don't go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and lakes that you're used to...
